The Essential Rites

Yesterday, I partook in the Islamic funeral rites after the demise of a gentleman I knew. Aged 76 years, he died an untimely and pathetic death after developing gangrene in his right foot. The infection surreptitiously advanced unabated, in spite of amputation of the affected part ..... finally taking the vital organs and then the whole body to hostage. All happened within 10 days .... a period oscillating between shifting of hospitals, ICUs, heavy monetary investments, pain, uncertainity and finally, submission to fate.  The siblings, were putting up a calm exterior, while fighting inner battles, trying to rationalize the absolute truth.

I however, hardly knew the gentleman, until recently.  My interaction with the dear departed was extremely limited, only on the annual occassion of Eid.  I learned about his attributes only during my visits to the hospital, while talking to his close family members (his wife, daughter in laws, younger brother and elder son). My grief was thus actually stemming from the sight of the sheer helplessness faced by his family members and by the correlations I involuntarily drew between the gentleman and my baba, who is just a few years elder to former.    

Being brought up in a Hindu Brahmin family, having very few Muslim friends and having never attended a Muslim funeral, this was an opportunity to learn about a culture diametrically opposite to the one I am accustomed to. 

While parking my scooter, a little away from the house, I was expecting to be confronted with mad cries and wails.  But the house was extremely quiet.  A modest pandal in white and green was getting erected ( .... setting up the house for reception of visitors on the very day of the mishap, ..... making preparations for the final journey....this was a new thing I saw).

The male members were clustered in the neighbouring house. I walked in tacitly.  In the front room, the corpse was laid on a cot, with fully covered head and face.  There were few women sitting in the room. There was a heap of coloured pebbles in the middle of the room.  Women encircling the heap, read prayers, formed a sub set of pebbles, picking up a pebble at a time and dropping it in small bowls held in their hands. 

I was ushered in and directed   to the room where the lady of the house was seated.  I made myself some space on the floor, finding a known face.  I would have taken out a moment to appreciate her beautiful soul rendering eyes but the time and situation were not exactly befitting.

After sometime more women started coming in, making way to meet the lady, briefly kissing her fingers and embracing her while sobbing.  (I realized that neither did I kiss her hands nor did I embrace her.  I had only bowed down my head momentarily before sitting down). She was very much in control, sobbing occasionally, only when someone whom she knows well, came in to hug her and cry.  She was in her full senses, taking out time to duly introduce  her close relatives to me (with whom I had not yet met)!

Soon, it was time for the first ritual (15.00 Hrs.), that of washing and shrouding the body.  The male members of the family carried the body to the backyard, covered the open space above with bed sheets to block view from outside and elaborately washed the body with scented water.  The ritual continued for over an hour, amidst prayers. There was call for a towel, dutifully passed out by the females from inside, all the while taking utmost care that the entire activity is shielded carefully. A sudden flurry of activities occurred while searching for a covetted peice of clothing for covering the corpse. I was informed that the garment (a pair of payjamas) was bought about 11 years ago when the couple visited the Mecca and it was desired to clothe him in it during his final journey.  Not having retrieved the linen, an alternative arrangement was made and the body was shrouded in Kafan.  A cot was laid in the center of the room and the corpse was laid in it, covered with few more clothes embroidered in black and gold and a sheath of flowers spread on the top.

The coming in of the women with their heads covered, continued. Even small girls dutifully covered their heads with dupattas.  I too pulled a head wear. 

Prayer books in Arabic language were handed out to the visitors to say the takbeer.  I guessed that three caskets containing neatly arranged prayer books were brought from the masjid for the purpose.  By now (16.30 Hrs.) there were more than 200 people in and out, but there was absolute peace, intercepted by controlled sobs.  Even the little kids were socialised to play mute games.

The Imam came in twice to uncover the face.  The women went to have a last look of the face of the dear departed, whispering prayers and asking for forgiveness of Allah. This gesture had really moved me. Paying utmost respect and reverence to the deceased and asking for forgiveness for the sins. What a grand and respectful way to bid farewell....!

The wife of the deceased, I was informed, will be forbidden from seeing the face of any other male for a month(!) 

When the clock struck 18.30, the cot was lifted by the close male members and carried out.  The crowd had swelled but the silence was impeccable!  I was perched high on the stairs to get a clear view of the rituals in the living room but just could not find my way out to observe the final journey, to the extent possible.  Females are forbidden to partake in this phase and hence I could not be there till the end to witness the janazzah prayer (salah), dua and watch the burial of the dead body in the grave with the head positioned towards the Quiblah.  Another ex-colleague of mine got the opportunity to join the funeral at the masjid and kabristan. 

Later on, I googled that when the body is lowered into the grave, one should recite, “Bismillah-i wa'ala millat-i rasulilah” meaning “In the Name of Allah, (we bury) according to the way of the Prophet of Allah.” When throwing the first handful in the grave one should recite, “Minhaa khalaqnaahum,” (from the (earth) did We create you.) During the second handful one should recite, “Wa minhaa nu'eedukum” (and into it shall We return you.) During the third handful one should recite, “Wa minhaa nukhrijukum taaratan ukhraa” (and from it shall We bring you out once again).

We return you, by the name of God to the Earth, the Supreme Creator.  We will bring you back once again.... Does this mean that Quran speaks of Life after Death? 

Dusk was setting in fast.  Things started looking normalised and the erstwhile silence gave way to murmurs.  Women got busy, meeting and greeting each other and exchanging pleasantries.  Children started becoming restless.  I moved out to the backyard, trying to figure out when and how to make my way back home.  A big plate full of porridge with a number of spoons stuck in it, was circulated.  I accepted a pinch, like prasad. 

Soon, I heard that dinner is getting ready.  Who prepared?  When?  Where?
Large vessels were handed around.  This struck an odd chord with me.  Though it was a functional decision to feed the visitors and children waiting since several hours now, yet I was not mentally and culturally prepared for this.  The burial process was not yet over and the people who left the house for the funeral have not yet returned. Accepting food under such circumstances was a bit odd, though not impractical.

I went inside, nodded again at the geltleman's wiife from a distance, politely refusing her request to accept food (she did not forget her hospitatlity even after going through perhaps the greatest loss in life), .....quietly retrieved out my footwear from the mountain like heap and exited the house into the darkness that had by then set in.

Simplicity and functionality marked the entire ritual.  I later learnt that the Shariah forbids expression of grief by loud wailing.  It is said, “One should strive to be patient, and remember that Allah is the One who gives life and takes it away, at a time appointed by Him. It is not for us to question His wisdom”. I was impressed.  Moksha... are these similar?  ..... Disidentification with the body and mind, which are temporary and subject to change, and realisation of our true identity?.... Absolute submission to the Supreme?

One last observation....It is recorded in a Hadith Shareef that, “Whoever took the Janzah forty steps, his forty large sins will be forgiven.” (What characterises a large sin against a small or medium level sin?  Are there guidelines laid out for delineating a particular sin?)

It is also in a Hadith Shareef that, “Whoever shoulders all four legs, Allah will give him permanent magfirat (forgiveness).”.... But.....What about the women?  When will they be forgiven for and releived off their sins and misdeeds?  Are their sins considered unforgivable or is it presumed that they do not sin at all?  Whom do they approach if they want to wash off their tarnish?

Lots of unanswered questions…. But these can definitely wait.  May there be peace for the departed soul.